For some reason, Ross and his glove-puppet Eric are gaining a reputation...
"Tickets please!" said the Guard, putting his head in the window. In a moment everybody was holding out a ticket.
"I'm afraid I haven't got one" said Alice in a frightened voice, "there wasn't a ticket office where I come from."
"You should have bought a Permit to Travel then!" chorussed the other passengers, aghast.
"Thwack!" said Eric.
(mostly from "Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There", Lewis Carroll , 1871)
"This here's a PORTIS, the most powerful portable ticket issuing machine you can buy. You're wondering whether I've used up the paper roll. Well, so am I. Are you felling lucky, punk?"
Cue the need for a new generation of movies. I can see it now, from Wonder Pictures ("If it's good, it's a Wonder"?):
Ross "Dirty Rossy" Hamilton starring in:
"No, no, no, no. They don't get the option of apologising: they get off at the next stop. Or, if we don't stop, they get off anyway...
RossRail - We don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
Taken from postings by Ross, Uncle Roger, Paul Hubbard, and Neil Worthington.